Trauma is an invisible force that shapes our lives. It shapes the way we live, the way we love, the way we make sense of the world. It is the root of out deepest wounds- Gabor Maté

Many of us might not use the word “trauma” when telling our life story, even if we suffered sexual or physical abuse as a child. Maybe we tell ourselves, “It wasn’t that bad” or “I deserved it” or “I should have stopped it” or “I’m an adult now, just get over it”. If we define trauma as any significant negative life event or incident that shaped who we are, most of us could remember terrifying times where we were bullied, rejected, neglected, ridiculed, invalidated, or yelled at with hurtful words. Some of us would also list sexual abuse, physical abuse, or experiencing or witnessing a life threatening incident. As we grow up, internalizing terrifying events shapes how we feel about ourselves that can lead to core beliefs such as:

• I’m a bad person

• I am not good enough

• I am not smart enough

• I am Worthless

• I am shameful

• I am not lovable

• I don’t belong

• I don’t deserve good things

• I am not safe

• I am powerless

• I cannot trust myself

• I cannot trust anyone

• I am a failure

• I have to be perfect

What is your negative self talk?

Core beliefs based on negative experiences in the past can have us stuck as adults. We use destructive ways to cope, spiral down into depression or anxiety, burst into overwhelming emotion, dissociate, or loop patterns in relationships that don’t work for us. Research has shown that when we face and process the large or small traumas of our past, we can become unstuck from our pain and transform our core beliefs about ourselves. This opens up space to transform from just surviving to thriving by being able to plan for the future, to trust, to plant roots, to feel joy again.

What is the story of your life? Does your story have something to do with how you feel about yourself, your depression, your anxiety or your personal power to have the life you want?